Am I Depressed, Or Have I Fallen Out Of Love?
How to know if you are struggling with your mental health or if your relationship needs support.
Relationships go through natural ups and downs, and it's normal to experience periods of emotional distance or dissatisfaction. However, when feelings of disconnection persist, you may start to wonder: Am I struggling with depression, or have I fallen out of love? Distinguishing between the two can be challenging, as both can manifest in similar ways.
Understanding Depression
Depression is a mental health condition that affects your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. It can cause a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, persistent feelings of sadness or emptiness, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating. In the context of a relationship, depression can make you feel emotionally numb, irritable, or withdrawn from your partner. It may not necessarily mean that your feelings for them have changed—rather, depression can cloud your ability to experience joy and connection.
Some common signs of depression include:
Persistent sadness or low mood
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities, including spending time with your partner
Fatigue or lack of energy
Difficulty sleeping or oversleeping
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Changes in appetite or weight
Thoughts of self-harm or suicide
If you identify with several of these symptoms, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional who can provide guidance and support.
Signs You May Have Fallen Out of Love
Falling out of love often feels different from depression, though the two can overlap. When romantic feelings fade, it is usually specific to the relationship rather than a general feeling of emotional numbness that extends to other areas of life. You may find yourself feeling indifferent toward your partner, lacking interest in their thoughts or feelings, or imagining a future without them.
Signs you may have fallen out of love include:
Feeling emotionally disconnected from your partner
A lack of excitement or affection toward them
Consistently preferring to spend time apart
Difficulty feeling empathy or concern for their emotions
A loss of physical intimacy or attraction
Feeling relief at the thought of being single
Frequent fantasizing about being with someone else
How to Tell the Difference
Since depression can make it difficult to experience love and connection, it’s important to consider whether your disinterest in the relationship is a symptom of a broader emotional struggle or a sign that your feelings have changed. Here are a few ways to gain clarity:
Assess Other Areas of Your Life – If you’re feeling unmotivated, uninterested, or disconnected in multiple areas—such as work, hobbies, and friendships—depression might be the underlying issue.
Reflect on Past Feelings – If you once felt deeply connected to your partner but now feel numb, depression could be affecting your emotions.
Consider External Stressors – Life challenges such as grief, work stress, or health issues can impact how you feel about your relationship.
Observe Patterns – If you have experienced similar feelings in past relationships, it may be worth exploring whether there’s an underlying emotional pattern at play.
Seeking Support
Regardless of whether you are experiencing depression or falling out of love, it’s important to address your feelings. Speaking with a therapist can help you navigate your emotions, identify the root cause of your distress, and explore potential solutions. If depression is the issue, therapy and support can help you regain a sense of connection and joy. If you’re falling out of love, a therapist can help you explore whether the relationship can be revitalized or if it’s time to move forward separately.
If you’re unsure about what you’re experiencing, you don’t have to go through it alone. Seeking professional guidance can help you make sense of your emotions and find the best path forward for your well-being.
